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The Snowball Effect

may not happen in this particular instance





June 8th, 2008

If you knew it was your last day on earth, how would you spend the time?
I'd say exactly what was on my mind and exactly how you hurt me. I'd tell you how I feel for you and what I hoped for. And then, I'd do whatever happened to come next -- hurt you, hate you, love you. I wouldn't waste a single emotion; I'd savor every impulse that crossed my mind.

And I'd go to my dad's grave. Bid him goodbye. Tell him I love him.

My original intent...

My original intent was to post an intriguingly vague thought that made you ponder what prompted it. But you can't pass up a good Writer's Block. So, here's the main cause of my brief (yet surprisingly numerous) late-night blogs:

Boys (or guys, if you prefer and have also graduated to that status) need to decide what they're looking for. And communicate that. Don't get me wrong, a select few do. But the rest are jackasses 96.2% of the time and don't bother to care whether or not you're wasting your time on them. Tell me your intent. Really, it's not that difficult. It's really not. And it simplifies matters... infinitely.

And all hope of originality is out the window.

Goodnight, fellow livejournalists.

And I'm not so sure
If I'm sure of anything anymore.
Well this is the last night
That you'll be keeping secrets from me.
--The Blue Channel, Taking Back Sunday
If you made up your own cereal, what would it consist of, and what would you call it?
This is blog is dedicated to Amanda Martin.

Amanda, we salute Shenanigans and everything it stands for (including its Neo-Nazi Jew hating... unfortunately).


June 3rd, 2008

If you had the chance to go crazy and completely overhaul your appearance, what would you do? Or: Recount a remarkable incident involving insects.
I would be taller by about 3 inches (torso, torso, torso), get rid of that silly birthmark on my right knee, less adventurous eyebrows, lighter body hair (for lack of a better term), more feminine hands and feet, clearer skin, larger assets (ahem), generally better hips (they're so straight and awkward), and have a smaller ribcage. So yeah. That's my overhaul, lol.

Although some would tell me that I have no room to talk.

I'm another day late
And one year older
It's failure by design
--Failure by Design, Brand New



I did it again. I keep doing it. Even though I know how it's going to turn out each and every time, I keep falling for it. I keep thinking that it's going to be different every time. But it never is. I know it never will be, way down deep... somewhere. I just can't resist.

I fall so hard.

There are things in this world
That I don't understand
Like love, war, gravity,
Or the lay of the land.
But all of these remain mysteries.
One thing is for sure...
--One This is for Sure, The Spill Canvas

May 31st, 2008

Graduation night was a pretty good.


And we'll never miss a party
'Cause we keep them going constantly
And we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything
'Cause it's all been done
And it's all been said
We're the coolest kids and we take what we can...
(Get the hell out of this town...)
--Soco, Amaretto, Lime, Brand New

May 20th, 2008

Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Yes. It was in a backyard swimming pool, so it wasn't as dramatic and idealized as you would think. But it was oddly liberating... despite the fact that it was me and three other girls.

Next goal: Co-ed in a lake! haha
... No, really. I'm serious.
What most excites you about the way you're living your life right now?
The ways I've changed. The ways I react to most situations has altered incredibly. But for the most fundamental emotions, I'm still exactly the same person. I'm growing to love who I am, who I'm becoming. I'm excited to see how I "end up" (as if we ever stop growing).
Name three life-changing experiences you went through and explain why you chose those experiences in particular.
1. My father's death
- How blatantly obvious is that choice? It was a major source of instability and growth in my life. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to me.

2. Oak
- The quintessential "first love". I went through a lot with him, and I've become almost a different person entirely because of him.

3. The third choice?
- I'm not sure yet. I'll have to reserve that for something as moving as those two up there ^^^.
Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?
No. I keep forgiving him. And I shouldn't.

Come on just say it: you need me like a bad habit.
One that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone.
--180 by Summer, Taking Back Sunday
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